


Wanderball Week 2016 - Holy References, Bananaman!

by 3amepiphany



Series: Wanderball Week 2016 [1]
Category: Wander Over Yonder
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-08
Updated: 2016-11-08
Packaged: 2018-08-29 20:20:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8504095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/3amepiphany/pseuds/3amepiphany
Summary: Malusians and Banoonoos!





	

**Author's Note:**

> http://omegalovaniac.tumblr.com/post/152889132909/shark-repellent
> 
> I'm just warming up with this one, but prompts are being taken all week over on the Tumblr so go get one in now!

Awesome rolled his eyes. This was not the sort of live entertainment that he’d hoped to have secured for the evening as an opener, and it was way too close to showtime for him to make a change without upsetting the crowd even more. This was possibly the worst thing about granting the billing to the locals, as sort of a consolation prize for losing their planet to him and the party rock that would shake it to the core before its’ next dawn. The Malusarians seemed accepting of their fate anyhow and that’s probably why he’d wound up listening to this ridiculous soundcheck; they’d given up and it was apparent. This was the saddest flarping polka he never thought he’d ever hear.

“Alright, dude,” he said, approaching from side stage. The accordion stopped and the guy waited, strange giant, dewy eyes staring at him, unblinking; the piano-key tie around his neck swinging about as he turned to look at the day-glo Emperor. He seemed familiar. “Here’s the deal. Lights go out till showtime. Lights go on. One song. Lights out. You’re done.” Awesome stopped and gave him a good, long look. This guy, a banana with a moustache, couldn’t be from Malusara. Eh. Maybe he’d moved. Well, he’d have to move again after this epic party.

“My drummer’s not here, yet,” was all he said.

“Well, he’d better be here, soon, because you’re out of time.”

The guy laughed, loud and annoyingly, uninhibited. “That’s a good one. Have you ever considered a career in comedy? You’ve got the smile.”

Awesome was about to thank him when suddenly there was the sound of bubbles being blown en masse, as if someone was starting up the generator that ran the foam machine. He turned and shouted to his crew, “No! What are you doing? You’re not supposed to start the foam machine until _after_ my second intermission!” But it wasn’t that at all. The crew went from looks of confusion to looks of absolute utter confusion as a giant ship appeared out of a Warp Orbble, held aloft over the stage by a effervescent stand-alone fountain of bubbles.

It wasn’t very aesthetically pleasing to look at, he thought. Kind of like something a child would have built out of Blego Blocks and covered in puffy star and rainbow stickers.

“There he is,” the accordion-player said. “And without skipping a beat, too. Wouldn’t be an act without him!”

The Emperor spun back just in time to see the banana take off the pair of fake, creepy eye glasses, to reveal the beaglepuss underneath and his real, gently rotating spiralized eyes. And that was it, Awesome knew exactly where he’d seen this guy before: The Galactic Villain Leaderboard! “Dr. Screwball Jones!”

“What?” Screwball replied, nonplussed, as he took off that ridiculous necktie and replaced it with a polka-dotted bow-tie.

“This is my conquest, are you hustling this planet out from under me, bro?”

Like a lariat, his enemy swung the tie about over his head and used it to lasso. “Hustling and rustling it,” he said. Before Awesome could figure out what he was doing, he’d tossed the open loop and snagged it on one of the main power strips just off stage.

A rope ladder unfurled from the ship and a voice called out, “I’m here, I’m here, I’m sorry! I had to help someone parallel park two blocks over!”

“Are you here or are you sorry?”

Amidst the bubbles, Awesome looked up to see a little orange figure in a green hat leaning over the side of the ship, holding onto the ladder and gesturing exasperatedly. “Oh, dude, this isn’t happening. Uncool,” he said with a small growl, and flicked his cape dramatically as he made to grab the neck-tie lariat out of Screwball’s hands as the other villain was tugging it hard enough to unplug it and several of the cords that were attached to it from the equipment they’d powered. Lights that weren’t supposed to go out were going out. One of the jumbo-tron screens flickered. The ship started to lift itself straight up, the ladder going with it.

A step ahead of him, Screwball jumped up and locked an arm around a rung of the ladder, his accordion swinging about behind him by its strap and the power cords dragging across the floor like a flailing octotruss. The screen that had flickered went out entirely. He struggled to climb up, muttering something about wishing he’d brought his concertina instead, and gave a shout as Awesome jumped to grab onto to him by the accordion strap.

“Yikes! Boy Wander! The oceanic repellant banana-spray! Now! For sharks!”

“I’m not sendin’ that down, that stuff is terrible! It can set someone off in a fit!”

“I know! That’s why I need it!”

“Can you just… can you just threaten to use it but not actually _use_ it?”

“I will shake the can at him in a vigorous and malicious manner and hope that will be enough to repel him!”

Awesome grumbled. This was stupid - he was losing Malusara to a piece of fruit and his unwitting second banana! ...That too was stupid, and he chastised himself internally for that one. He could hear Screwball catch a rattling can, and he pressed on, trying to get a hold of the wildly flapping and swinging length of ladder for a proper fight. But then he was clobbered on the snout.

He let go with one hand, holding his nose. 

Screwball gave him a big cheshire grin. “Whoops, butterfingers! Silly me. Anyways, until next week, remember to always, always, always wear shark repellent because you never know when one's gonna-”

“AAAAAHHH!”

Screwball had depressed the nozzle on the can and released a fine mist in Awesome’s face. He let go with his other hand now, and fell the few feet to the ground, groaning and rolling about in a flourish of tumbling and popping bubbles.

Boy Wander yelled down, “Is everyone okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, everyone is just peachy. I mean, _apple-y_ ,” Screwball lied very obviously, drifting up and away from what Awesome could see blurrily through the cloud of repellant in his eyes and the pain in his nose and the curtain of bubbles. “Boy, Boy Wander, did we sure save that planet from some unruly tunes!”

“Sir, I can’t find the remote to your laptop,” said one of Awesome’s handy techs, rushing over in the chaos on stage. And it was at that moment, his laptop started to play the CD that was in its disk drive. The crowd of Malusarians erupted into awkwardly hesitant cheers as the track blasted out of half of the speakers that still worked. Screwballs voice echoed out, “Let me tell you all about this amazing little place I’ve been to, where the air smells like warm root beer…”

Awesome whined.


End file.
